Don't Drink The Water Audition!

The fall play at my school is Don't Drink The Water, a comedy by Woody Allen.

"In an unnamed European country behind the Iron Curtain, the American Ambassador must leave the Embassy for business. In his absence he places his incompetent son Axel Magee in charge. Almost immediately the Embassy is thrust into a crisis as the Hollanders, an American family of tourists, come rushing in on the run from the Communist police. Walter, the father, had accidentally snuck into a high security area and taken pictures, causing the communists to believe that the family are spies. Axel digs the hole deeper and the embassy is surrounded, leaving the Hollanders trapped."

Woohoo!

Sadly, I have to choose from a limited selection of monologues to perform, instead of choosing my own:(

Here's the one I chose!

"Really, I'm not too fond of being stuck in this elevator! I mean, you're all very nice people and if I had to choose 5 people to fall 47 floors to my death with, well, you'd be in the finals! How long have we been in here now? Five hours? And how many breakdowns have I had so far? Oh, well that's not so bad! Feel another one coming on, though. Feel that little jingle-jangle that means panic's on the way. I'm afraid of heights, I'm claustrophobic, and I'm petrified of death so really this is perfect for me!"

I'm not thrilled with it, but it's pretty funny. I'm going to play it as a completely psychotic woman who switches between uncomfortable laughing and complete "I see aliens" crazy.

Hopefully it will be good?

Side note:
I'm hurting my throat with this monologue, I get pretty loud at the end!

UPDATE:
I GOT A CALLBACK! 
I got a callback for the chef, and I need to learn how to do a french accent in three days:/


UPDATE UPDATE:
I actually became Assistant to the Director! Weird! But it is definitely post-show now, and I can basically recite you the script beginning to end, so if you have any questions- ask away!